Sometimes, I wish I have the ability to turn back the time to the moment when I was still a kid. To be precise, perhaps back to a time when I was 7. Go back to primary school, study hard, play lots of sports, be a nerd and a jock at the same time or rather a smart jock, do well for PSLE and O Levels and actually go to Junior College. But simultaneously, I am just human who can never be perfect and I appreciate what Almighty God had planned how my life should be. Be it in the past or the future.
It`s obvious that growing up has its ups and downs. I grew up being really close friends with my neighbours. We had fun together, played a lot and even fought a lot. But I never expected growing up with them would present me with a "gift" of having a phobia. What kind of phobia exactly? Here`s how the story goes.
It was a fine Saturday and like any other typical kid who looks forward to every Saturdays, the first thing that came into my mind was to head to my Nana`s house to play. So I called Jack and asked him along. It wasn`t just the three of us kids at Nana`s house. There were her smaller sister, Diana and two of her cousins Adam and Mike.
"Bye mum! I`m going to be playing outside with my friends!" exclaimed Nana who just couldn`t wait to go outside even though we had no idea what kind of games we were going to play.
"So what shall we do today?" I asked.
Everyone looked at each other expecting someone to come up with a plan or at least a game to play with. I unwillingly and desperately suggested cycling to kill boredom but everyone willingly disagreed.
"What about Hide & Seek?" Jack suggested with a wide smile on his face.
Finally it was something we all agreed on. Adam and Mike was the one who were asked to seek and the rest of us hastily scattered like rats to find a place to hide. I decided to be barefooted and ran as fast I could but at the same, was trying to keep the sound of my footsteps as silent as possible.
We had quite a number of different hiding places to choose, the reason being that we`re playing the game on a HDB flat. I could hear Adam and Mike almost counting to 10 and I hardly found myself a hiding place. I was wondering how the rest of my friends found a place to hide so quickly.
"Perfect!" I exclaimed in my thoughts as I saw an empty cabinet along the corridor. To my surprise, the rest were in there as well. Jack grabbed my shirt and pulled me in aggressively as if he was trying to save me from some sort of danger. There was just a tiny string of light from outside entering the small cabinet with the four of us in it but I decided to shut it tight.
It was pitch black inside and the atmosphere started to become really stuffy and I could hardly breathe. It felt really crowded even though there were only the four of us inside the cabinet. It was so squeezy inside that I could not even move my body. I could feel only god knows what animals or insects crawling under and literally on my feet. I started sweating like a mad pig. My hair became drenched wet as if I was caught in the rain. My soccer shorts that I usually wear whenever I`m out to play was so wet that I was not sure if it was sweat or that I had peed on myself. Suddenly, footsteps could be heard coming fast from outside.
"Shhhhh! They`re coming. Be quiet," I whispered uneasily even though the rest were just being dead silent.
"Farhan! I know you`re in there. You can get out now!" hollered Adam from outside. It was as if he knew all along from the beginning that I was going to hide in that particular cabinet.
"How did you find me so fast? It hasn`t even been five minutes!" I complained. Adam just ignored me.
I felt a bit relieved when Adam found me because I just could not wait to finally get myself some air. I turned the door knob rapaciously but only to realise that I was stuck! I turned the door knob towards the opposite direction but it was such a setback. Nothing happened. I tried to keep myself calm but panic and consternation overcame me. I started to sweat even more that I could feel the floor getting wet. I tried barging the door open but being a skinny 4 feet tall kid that I was, it did not have even the slightest effect.
"ADAM HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON`T WANT TO DIE! I DON`T WANT TO DIE!" I wailed, feeling extremely petrified.
The more I panic, the more I started to lose my breath. I started seeing unexplained visions or rather illusions right in front of me. I knew at that point of time I was already on the verge of dying and it could be the last time I ever played Hide & Seek. I kept my head up and use whatever energy that was left in me to try and get myself out of this living dark suffocating hell. There were the four of us inside but it was just me putting in effort to get ourselves out and save our lives. I started becoming weak. My energy had all been drained out from all the unnecessary panic. The next thing I knew, my surroundings became a total darkness, even darker than where I was before.
It`s obvious that growing up has its ups and downs. I grew up being really close friends with my neighbours. We had fun together, played a lot and even fought a lot. But I never expected growing up with them would present me with a "gift" of having a phobia. What kind of phobia exactly? Here`s how the story goes.
It was a fine Saturday and like any other typical kid who looks forward to every Saturdays, the first thing that came into my mind was to head to my Nana`s house to play. So I called Jack and asked him along. It wasn`t just the three of us kids at Nana`s house. There were her smaller sister, Diana and two of her cousins Adam and Mike.
"Bye mum! I`m going to be playing outside with my friends!" exclaimed Nana who just couldn`t wait to go outside even though we had no idea what kind of games we were going to play.
"So what shall we do today?" I asked.
Everyone looked at each other expecting someone to come up with a plan or at least a game to play with. I unwillingly and desperately suggested cycling to kill boredom but everyone willingly disagreed.
"What about Hide & Seek?" Jack suggested with a wide smile on his face.
Finally it was something we all agreed on. Adam and Mike was the one who were asked to seek and the rest of us hastily scattered like rats to find a place to hide. I decided to be barefooted and ran as fast I could but at the same, was trying to keep the sound of my footsteps as silent as possible.
We had quite a number of different hiding places to choose, the reason being that we`re playing the game on a HDB flat. I could hear Adam and Mike almost counting to 10 and I hardly found myself a hiding place. I was wondering how the rest of my friends found a place to hide so quickly.
"Perfect!" I exclaimed in my thoughts as I saw an empty cabinet along the corridor. To my surprise, the rest were in there as well. Jack grabbed my shirt and pulled me in aggressively as if he was trying to save me from some sort of danger. There was just a tiny string of light from outside entering the small cabinet with the four of us in it but I decided to shut it tight.
It was pitch black inside and the atmosphere started to become really stuffy and I could hardly breathe. It felt really crowded even though there were only the four of us inside the cabinet. It was so squeezy inside that I could not even move my body. I could feel only god knows what animals or insects crawling under and literally on my feet. I started sweating like a mad pig. My hair became drenched wet as if I was caught in the rain. My soccer shorts that I usually wear whenever I`m out to play was so wet that I was not sure if it was sweat or that I had peed on myself. Suddenly, footsteps could be heard coming fast from outside.
"Shhhhh! They`re coming. Be quiet," I whispered uneasily even though the rest were just being dead silent.
"Farhan! I know you`re in there. You can get out now!" hollered Adam from outside. It was as if he knew all along from the beginning that I was going to hide in that particular cabinet.
"How did you find me so fast? It hasn`t even been five minutes!" I complained. Adam just ignored me.
I felt a bit relieved when Adam found me because I just could not wait to finally get myself some air. I turned the door knob rapaciously but only to realise that I was stuck! I turned the door knob towards the opposite direction but it was such a setback. Nothing happened. I tried to keep myself calm but panic and consternation overcame me. I started to sweat even more that I could feel the floor getting wet. I tried barging the door open but being a skinny 4 feet tall kid that I was, it did not have even the slightest effect.
"ADAM HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I DON`T WANT TO DIE! I DON`T WANT TO DIE!" I wailed, feeling extremely petrified.
The more I panic, the more I started to lose my breath. I started seeing unexplained visions or rather illusions right in front of me. I knew at that point of time I was already on the verge of dying and it could be the last time I ever played Hide & Seek. I kept my head up and use whatever energy that was left in me to try and get myself out of this living dark suffocating hell. There were the four of us inside but it was just me putting in effort to get ourselves out and save our lives. I started becoming weak. My energy had all been drained out from all the unnecessary panic. The next thing I knew, my surroundings became a total darkness, even darker than where I was before.
When I woke up, I thought I had already died and I was in either heaven or most probably hell.
The first person that came popping into my sight was Adam. I realised that I was right outside the corridor cabinet that I was hiding in earlier on. I was lying there helplessly with the rest all surrounding me.
"I`m so glad you`re alright! You know we couldn`t find where the hell you were hiding at until we heard someone screaming for help. We`ve been looking for you for more than an hour. We heard someone screaming from this cabinet. Something was definitely wrong and knew it was you right away because we had already found the rest. We felt something was resisting when we tried opening the door. When we finally opened the door, you were alone and had already blacked out. Your face was really pale, as if you had seen a ghost," explained Adam.
I was so weak I just kept quiet but it did not take me long to digest whatever Adam had said. Was I really alone all the while I was in the cabinet? Who were the people I was inside with? I definitely felt their presence. Ultimately, who was the person who pulled me into the cabinet? Were those "people" inside the cabinet actually ghosts or were my friends just trying to play a prank on me?
I started becoming claustrophobic. Till today, I still rather have those questions unanswered. It is definitely the most distinct childhood memory I will be bringing on for the rest of my life.
My memorable childhood.
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